I believe that getting to the root of our wishes, hopes and beliefs is the healthiest of approaches.

LOOKING FOR A LIFE CHANGING UPGRADE?

If you are looking for a big upgrade in your life, be it a career change or a new life project, it’s worthwhile doing some very honest self-questioning. However, be prepared, this is not going to be easy because it requires asking yourself simple questions that are uncomfortable to answer that will bring you face to face with your very own individual core beliefs.

Who do you want to be?

Where in your life do you want to be?

Why do you really want this (whatever “this” is for you) to happen?

What makes you truly happy?

What gives you purpose?

Get to the root and dig deep with your questions into your core beliefs. Make sure that what you really want is based on your true values and your true needs, and not on someone else’s needs, or to be liked and display power, or to show off how well you are doing. The ultimate goal for your “wanting” should be genuine and simple happiness and purpose.

Take time to really consider what is really bugging you.

“Chances are the answer will involve a failure of some sort.”

(The subtle art of not giving a  fuck, Mark Manson)

At which point you will need to ask yourself more uncomfortable questions!

“Why do I consider this to be success/failure? How am I choosing to measure myself? By what standard am I judging myself and everyone around me?”

(Change your Paradigm, change you life, Bob Proctor)

It is important to ask yourself if you are looking at it the wrong way and if it is time to turn the way you are looking at it.

MAKE A CHANGE

“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.”

(Mary Engelbreit)

Remember that changing something involves experimenting which implies a certain amount of successes but also some failures. Get familiar with failures: they are not setbacks, they are part of life as they promote growth which can open doors to new opportunities you may have not even thought possible!

FEAR OF FAILURE

Once you have faced and questioned your core beliefs and gone thru with some in depth soul searching, it’s time to take the reins of your life.

Visualize what you want by keeping your eyes firmly on your goal as well as on the reasons behind it, and think positively!

“All success if 5% strategy and 95 % mindset.”

(Change your Paradigm, change you life, Bob Proctor)

Because you are moving in a situation you have never been before you are going to feel uncomfortable and you are likely to doubt yourself and your abilities but, if you have done the homework well, you will have ensured that this is what you truly want and what you need. So, trust yourself.

Remember that fear of failure, fear of success, procrastination, and the very worst: self-sabotage and giving in to the impostor syndrome are your worst enemies.

Everybody has potential, but we all need to learn how to develop that potential. It takes time, it involves success as much as failures, but we only really get better at something when we really want it so, if you have done your homework, this is good news! 

Make a choice, visualize, keep at it.

Really commit to it. Bet on yourself.

“If you’re really going to live up to your potential, you’ve got to step out and really bet on you.”

(Change your Paradigm, change you life, Bob Proctor)

Keep calm and confident. You’ve got this!

LEARN TO LET GO

You have already learnt about the importance of letting go of unfounded core beliefs that were putting you on the wrong path with values and beliefs that were not aligned with you.

You have also learnt about the importance of letting go of the fear of failure.

Now it’s time to let go of anyone who is not on your same frequency.

“Stop showing up for people who have no interest in your presence. I know your instinct is to do everything to earn the appreciation of those around you, but it’s a boost that steals your time, energy, mental and physical health. Let go the people who are not prepared to love you. Stop having hard conversations with people who don’t want change. If you are excluded, insulted, forgotten or ignored by the people you give your time to, you don’t do yourself a favour by continuing to offer your energy and your life. The truth is that you are not for everyone and not everyone is for you.”

(Anthony Hopkins)

Do not deprive yourself of the possibility of connecting with someone else who is more aligned with you, because you are wasting all your time and energies trying to make yourself liked by someone who is unable or unwilling to value and appreciate you. You are not someone punch bag. You are not someone’s doormat. You are not someone’s background wallpaper. You are not responsible for someone else’s happiness and for their emotional healing.

A friend of mine once introduced me to one of her theories: it was enlightening! She told me that there’s two kind of people in the world: “some people are radiators and some people are hoovers!” she said. Some, the radiators, have a beautiful energy fuelled by positivity and a can-do attitude. Some, the hoovers, will identify the radiators and proceed to just drain them never giving anything back and always holding them back.

Seek to mix with the community that aligns with you. Seek people who are on your frequency and that are going in the direction you are heading. Rub shoulders with the ones who have been there, who have made it, who know how. Learn from them. Flourish, develop, grow! 

Make it your clarity of intention to know that you deserve true friendship, valuable commitments as well as honest and truthful love. Don’t waste your time with people who are not worth it, who will not understand you and will not be able to support or even simply understand your journey.

“Respect yourself enough to walk away from anything that no longer serves you, helps you to grow, or makes you happy.”

(Change your Paradigm, change you life, Bob Proctor)

CONCLUSION

To me New Year resolutions are less about the making of a “tick list” and more about a recalibration.

Do a bit of honest soul searching and challenge your core beliefs to ensure that what you really want is in harmony with what you need.

Visualize it, commit to it, then launch! And on your journey learn to let go of fear of failure and whoever holds you down.

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In this article I want to show you how looking after your musculoskeletal system could give you back up to 20 years of independent living.

What is the musculoskeletal system?

Bones, muscles, joints, tendons and ligaments are all part of the musculoskeletal system. These work together to provide the body with movement but also support and protection. At their best they allow us to move about in our daily life by providing support and stability…so you can already see how important they are, right?

The effects of ageing on our body

How ageing affects our cells

With time, the functions that take place inside the cells, along with the influences from the environment (for example the sunlight and toxins in our diet), start to change the very structure of the cells as well as the function of the molecules inside them.

Recently, researchers have categorised these changes and discovered that they range from the accumulation of damage in the DNA to altered communication between cells.

• As we age the cells accumulate damage in their DNA and this sort of damage particularly affects the DNA in the in the mitochondria of our cells. The mitochondria are membrane-bound cells that produce the chemical energy needed to power the cell’s biochemical reactions. In simple word: cells accumulate damage = less chemical energy.
• When DNA replicates, the caps at the end of each strand get shorter. DNA replication is a vital process whereby existing cells divide to produce new cells. DNA contains the instructions needed for an organism to develop, survive and reproduce. Now, imagine the DNA as long strands. At the end of these strands there’s a cap. Every time the cell divides, they become a little shorter. With time these caps (called the telomeres) get too short to do their job, causing our cells to age and stop functioning properly.
• Subject to enough stress, these cells with DNA damage and shortened caps (telomere), either die or become senescent (they can no longer divide). The result? The cells begin to deteriorate and they stop passing signals to each other effectively. This dysfunctional communication can lead to chronic tissue inflammation and it can affect our immune system increasing our susceptibility to infection and cancer as it is unable to clear pathogens or dysfunctional cells.

The point here is simple: aging affects the functionality of the cells meaning our tissues and organs begin to deteriorate, they become more prone to develop diseases and eventually, our health declines.

How do our bones age?

Did you know that bone is a living tissue constantly developing and remodelling itself even after reaching its highest peak at around the age of 30? Cool eh! But what happens after that? Bone is then lost and wasted away as part of the normal ageing process at a scary rate between 3-11% per decade.

Although the major factor leading to bone loss in postmenopausal women is a lower production of hormones, other more generic contributing factors are gender, genetics and race which can predispose individuals to thinning of bones at a higher rate than normal. Also, other contributing factors and worst offenders are smoking, a diet lacking in nutrients such as calcium and a lack of weight-bearing exercise.

How do our muscles age?

Sarcopenia, people! It’s worth noting that by the age of 70, a person has lost on average 40 – 50% of the muscle strength that they had when they were younger. This loss of muscle mass, strength and function is known as ‘sarcopenia’. Poor balance and slow reaction to a fall are telling signs.

The good news is that muscle loss can be avoided and or delayed! Along the length of the muscle there’s lots of long cells. These are called muscle fibres. As we age, these long cells get smaller and we also lose some of them completely. It is understood that by the age of 70, we have lost approximately 30-40% of our muscle fibres. However, although once lost, muscle fibres cannot be replaced, not even by exercise, early prevention (thru appropriate exercise and nutrition) can extend their lifespan.

How do our tendons age?

Tendons are bands of fibrous tissue that bind the muscle to the bone. They are designed to withstand bending, stretching and twisting.

Tendon can become damaged due to repetitive stressful movements and, along with increasing age, they start to lose their elasticity.

Ageing, mobility and social aspects

As we have seen, ageing affects our cells which in turns affects our musculoskeletal system. The changes that are caused by ageing can lead to problems with a person’s ability to move around.

Musculoskeletal ageing can hugely impact an individual. It can mean not being able to go the shops or to go to see friends and family and it can translate into feeling socially isolated. Furthermore, it can also have an effect on the people around them too such as families, friends, colleagues and the wider society. When we can’t look after ourselves, others have to step in to help. When we can’t do things ourselves, we become dependent and this can have a huge impact on our mental health as well as affect our relationships with others and have an impact on their mental health too.

So, what can we do to improve our chances of keeping fit and mobile and retain our independent living?

The importance of keeping active

There is no other way to put this: remaining active as we age is vital for keeping our musculoskeletal system healthy!

The last 200 years has seen a profound change in life expectancy due to lifestyle changes and medical breakthroughs. However, although we can live longer, we need to make sure we live longer healthily!

Yes, ageing is associated with a significant decline in neuromuscular function and muscle mass but it is also scientifically proven that whilst muscle deterioration is a natural process, a sedentary lifestyle can greatly accelerate it. This is because as we move less, we lose muscle function, and as we age, we begin to lose the ability to regain muscle mass. Resistance training such as lifting weights, for instance, can help us to maintain muscle function.

How much activity you need to do depends on your age and your level of fitness, but there’s plenty help out there and one way to start is by checking the government recommended guidelines. In the U.K. you can check the NHS website.

Remaining active as we age is vital for keeping our muscles, joints and bones strong enough to withstand the normal knocks of everyday living. It’s important to understand that when we talk about keeping active, we are not talking about running a marathon! We are talking about fitness as the ability for our body to take in oxygen, for our heart to pump it around the body, and get used by the muscles. Shockingly, the difference between being normal weight and physically active, and overweight and physically inactive is a striking 20 years of independent living.

What’s the key? Behaviour!

Want to hear an interesting fact? Cluster behaviour has an effect on people. This means that if your friends or family are people who don’t go around much and they eat a lot of junk food, you are likely to pick up the same habits. This is because you are likely to end up doing the same things. So, key to this is to break out of the bad habit a set a good example.

What happens to our muscles when we exercise?

Regular exercise helps preventing or managing a variety of health problems and concerns, such as stroke, metabolic syndrome, type 2 diabetes, many types of cancer, arthritis as well as depression and anxiety. Click here to read more on the benefits of exercising and click here to read about how the body responds to physical exercise.

In terms of the musculoskeletal system, essentially the types of exercise that most people undertake fall into two categories: aerobic (e.g. jogging, running, swimming, cycling, walking) or resistance exercise (i.e. strength training, such as weight-lifting). On top of this there is also eccentric exercise or eccentric training which is a mix of the both (such as some circuit or cross-training). Aerobic exercise is good for the muscles as it increases their use of oxygen to generate increased amount of energy to allow the muscles to contract. Resistance exercise is key to increasing or restoring muscle bulk in a much wider group of people.

In older age, aerobics and racquet sports are more effective in strengthening our bones than many repetitions of the same movement of the same vigor (as in distance running, swimming or cycling – whether real or using a machine) and the upper body and torso bones can be stimulated by resistance exercise that requires muscle contraction.

It is true that as we age, we start to pick up problems and aches, but it is important to keep active within our mean as physical inactivity is not just the opposite of physical activity! Physical inactivity activates different pathways in muscles, prevents the burning of fats and reduces the flexibility of blood vessels – all very important factors in cardiovascular health. Translated in simple terms, being inactive is also greatly associated with cardiovascular problems.

The effects of sedentary life and bone health

Sedentary behaviour (sitting, lying and screen-time, using very little energy) has negative effects on our overall health, as well as our bone health. Inactivity is linked to a body composition that has higher fat than lean mass, higher levels of glucose and inflammation, factors which are linked to heightened risk of cardiovascular disease, diabetes and some cancers. In adult bone, being inactive promotes the activity of cells that resorb bone (osteoclasts), which is a response to disuse.

Physical inactivity, can lead to serious muscle and joints problems as loss of muscle mass means that joint alignment, movement and shock-absorption are all impaired. It can also favour obesity which places a great strain on joints.

It is worth remembering that the effect of exercise goes beyond direct changes in bone mass. By exercising, our balance, co-ordination and strength will be improved so we are less likely to fall, or if we do lose our balance, we may be more able to grab a support and not crash down hard enough to cause a fracture.

Finally, exercise makes people feel good too, there are many excellent reasons to make sure it forms part of your daily routine.

Improving our physical activity levels

Our body is built to move!

Although the benefits of physical activity and exercise are widely known, many will believe they are more active than they actually are and most people will  struggle to meet the government recommended levels.

The recommended advice for adults is 150 minutes of moderate to vigorous physical activity a week (for example: 30 minutes 5 days a week).

It helps to do activities that we enjoy doing and that are suited for us. May be a good idea to look for a pal to do activities with to reinforce in us the commitment and it may turn out to be more pleasurable. It’s important to be realistic with our time and find ways to implement it in our daily routine. Setting realistic goals and making a plan can also help us keeping in track. Most an above all it’s important to have fun with it a not to beat ourselves down when we have a set-back.

Another way to be more active is to become aware of the small changes. For example, parking the car further away so we get a bit of walking, taking the stairs instead of the lift or commuting by walking or cycling.

Nutrients for musculoskeletal health

From a nutritional point of view, there are also things that we can do to improve the health and longevity of our musculoskeletal system.

Calcium

Calcium and phosphorus are vitally important for our muscles. This is because when nerves signal for muscles to contract, small amounts of calcium are released from stores inside the muscle cells. Calcium is also available in the skeleton to maintain calcium levels in blood which regulates muscle and nerve function.

The recommended intake of calcium varies according to age. The recommended daily intake for adults is 700 mg but it is higher for teenagers because the skeleton is growing rapidly. With ageing, taking high doses of calcium (over 1500 mg a day) can cause stomach pain or diarrhoea.

Good sources of calcium include:

• Green leafy vegetables such as broccoli, cabbage and okra (but not spinach)
• Soya beans, tofu and soya drinks with added calcium
• Milk, cheese and other dairy foods including cheese, yoghurt and ice cream (however you may want to read more about the benefits of going dairy free and what are the milk alternative options)
• Nuts
• Bread and anything made with fortified flour (many cereal products in the UK are fortified with calcium carbonate)
• Fish where you eat the bones – such as sardines and pilchards.

Vitamin D

Vitamin D is made naturally in the skin by the action of ultraviolet B-light in sunshine. The main function of vitamin D is to enhance calcium absorption from the small intestine, making it intricately linked with the supply of calcium for healthy bones and muscles.

Vitamin D was identified in the early 20th century as an essential dietary factor that prevents rickets in young children. In rickets, bones fail to mineralise properly and they can’t bear the weight of the child’s body, causing the growing long bones in the legs to bow. Scientists found that rickets could be prevented by giving cod liver oil to children, and it was later found that cod liver oil is a good source of vitamin D.

A vitamin D deficiency can cause bone abnormalities such as soft bones (osteomalacia) or fragile bones (osteoporosis).

Click here to read more on the benefit of Vitamin D also knows as the “sunshine vitamin”.

Good food sources of vitamin D are:

• Oily fish – such as salmon, sardines, herring and mackerel
• Red meat (however you may want to read more about the benefits of going meat free )
• Liver
• Egg yolks
• fortified foods such as some cereal, orange juice, milk and yogurts (*In the UK, cows’ milk is not generally fortified with vitamin D).

Whilst foods such as oily fish, eggs, fortified breakfast cereals and fat spreads do contain the nutrient, the best way to absorb vitamin D is from the sunlight on our skin. For this reason, depending on where you live or depending on your skin colour (individuals with darker skin produce less vitamin D with the same amount of sunlight exposure than individuals with lighter skin colour) you may need to take Vitamin D supplements. In the U.K. the NHS (National Health Service) has reviewed its guidelines on how much vitamin D is needed and can be found here. In some cases, taking a daily vitamin D supplement may be recommended and, in the UK, supplementation has recently been extended to include everyone over the age of one during the winter months.

Protein

Having an adequate amount of protein in your diet is key to supporting muscle and bone health.

The protein is higher in plant sources (such as nuts, dried peas, and beans) than in animal sources.

Eating well

Although not strictly related to the musculoskeletal system, the importance of a varied diet is hugely beneficial to our body.

The solution to a healthy and nutritional diet is simple:

• eat a varied diet rich in fresh fruits and vegetables
• choose unsaturated oils and spreads, and eat these in small amounts
• drink six to eight cups or glasses of fluid a day
•  If eating foods that are high in fat, salt or sugar then have these less often, and in small amounts.

From birth to old age, a healthy diet is important for optimising musculoskeletal health

Conclusion

Do not under estimate the importance of looking after your musculoskeletal system as it could cost you 20 years of independent living.

Keep active, ensure your calcium, vitamin D and protein intake is in check and follow a diet rich in fresh fruits and vegetables.

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It’s all perfectly acceptable until we find pleasure and happiness in doing something that some people make a living from, or something people have in their minds could potentially make you money. At that point, we get incited to seek a way of monetizing it or – even worst (and God forbid) – when we derive pleasure from doing something like singing songs or writing a book at a non-professional level, we are often reminded that we are never going to make it big. But in so doing they miss the point entirely and they can even spoil it for us!

IT’S NOT ALL ABOUT MONETIZING

When I started this website, I was quickly asked why I wanted to do it. I explained that I enjoyed researching these topics and writing the articles and that I hoped of touching and improving some lives in some ways. I was quickly told, in no uncertain terms, that I was never going to make it work: the competition is fierce, you are not skilled or qualified enough and you haven’t got the right concept idea. After licking my wounds for a while, I found myself scrolling through social media and I came across a picture of the sea in Menorca, where I had lived for a while. I immediately had a wave of happiness remembering the lazy days pottering about in flip flops, breathing in the sea air and basking in the sun. I missed it. I then put down my phone and picked up a book I was then reading. I loved it. I was reading about the unconscious, the knock-on effects when there is a lack of self-esteem and how to improve one’s life! I then logged in to my website and scrolled through some of the articles I had written. I had forgotten some already…and as I opened them, I started reading some of the passages. I loved them.

It was then that an idea quickly came to my mind and I’d like to share it here with you. I like going to the beach, looking at the sea and sunbathing. Do I make money from it? No. I also like taking walks in woodlands. Do I make money from it? No. So, should I now stop going to the beach or taking walks through nature because they make me no money? Of course not!

I decided there and then that although my little website may never make me much money, because it made me happy, it was good and worth enough to me. I don’t need to be the best out there. I just need to be the best I can for my own sense of worthiness, while doing something I enjoy.

LEARN TO READJUST YOUR DIRECTION

A friend of mine, who used to earn good money working in the media sector, aged thirty-plus decided to change career path. He wanted to work in the city analysing companies, becoming a fund manager and managing money for big companies. He took time off from work and for nearly three years he studied twelve hours a day in the library to become an investor. Bear in mind, this is someone who could not wait to get out of University and get a job. But did he do that because he wanted to earn more money? No, he did it because he enjoyed it.

One day he happened to speak to a guy who worked for a city firm and asked for some advice on how to get work in that industry. He was told that by the age of thirty he would be aged out because no one would take him out and that he was deluded and hopeless to believe he could become an analyst. The guy went on to explain that the sector was competitive and full of very bright people who come out from top universities and that no one would be interested in him. However, he advised my friend that perhaps if he leveraged his experience in media he may be able to become a media analyst for a small company.

My friend contacted more people but the feedback did not change. The thing with my friend was that he did not want to become a media analyst for a small company. He wanted to become a fund manager. Eventually, despite the feedback, he decided to think out of the box and find a way of making it work for himself. He quit his media job, sold a property and started investing his own money. It is true, he does not walk into a city job managing hundreds of thousands of pounds for big companies and getting large bonuses, but he gets to invest into his own portfolio and along the way he managed to turn that into his main source of income.

What did he do? He changed the direction a bit!

SOMETIMES CHECK THE STARS AND SMILE

Talking to a friend of mine who is a composer, he confessed that when he started making music he did not know if he was ever going to make any money from it. He went into it because he simply loved it. When he was not composing, he was missing it. When he was not in studio, he was missing it. Despite what people told him, that the music industry was corrupted and that he’s be lucky not to end in poverty, he reflected on the fact that he did not need to make it big. He was not aspiring to become the biggest composer or the next A lister. He started to look at the music market and what made him think was the fact that as much as there are big markets out there, there are also small markets! Although a few record labels told him he was not A list material, he could be B, C, D or even E list material. Who cares about the label if you get to do what you love!

When we talked about how he came to make a living making music in the sub list markets, he told me that the areas where he had his greatest successes where the areas where things happened easily, where the stars somehow aligned…(or whatever you want to call it – he said)…and when things just seemed to flow. He found that people around him were able and even willing to help him, hence putting him in a better position to leverage his chances making it easier for himself.

That positivity, that energy and enthusiasms you get when you love doing something is contagious and, in a world, where people are often following the flow afraid of being anything different, it does get you noticed!

Former FBI hostage negotiator Chris Voss, author of Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It, explains that when people are in a positive frame of mind they are more likely to collaborate and problem-solve (instead of fight and resist). The positive impact of a smile on your face or in your voice, applies to the smile-er as much as the smile-ee.

When Tim Ferriss wrote his first book, The Four-Hour Workweek, the manuscript was rejected by twenty-five publishers. When eventually the contract was signed with the twenty-sixth publisher, Ferris decided to ask why his manuscript was chosen. He was curious to find out what they had seen in it that twenty-five others had not. The answer is rather enlightening! “Nothing,” was the reply. “We can understand why publishers have rejected this work. But we aren’t’ betting on the book, we are betting on you. We believe you will do anything and everything you can to make the book successful.” As you can see doing what you love with a bit of determination and self-discipline can really make magic!

LISTEN TO THE ADVICE, BUT MAKE SURE YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE SEEKING

Be careful who’s advice you take. If that person does not really know what you are talking about, if that person does not know your business or industry, or if that person does not have some of the same values you have, then their experience is not relevant to your area.

When my friend was told he was no A lister, it took him a bit of rethinking to realize that he did not want to become an A list celebrity. Having worked in the media and music industry myself for fifteen years, I understand very well the compromises celebrities have to make when they make it big. They work hard, their life is always on the spotlight and no matter how strong they are, eventually the criticism gets to them too. What they say is often deliberately twisted to make the news and everything they do or say is put under the microscope. Even the best and strongest crack. As an audience, you only see a side of that glamour life.

The same applies to other career paths. After fifteen years working in the media industry, I decided to leave. This is something that a younger me, who only wanted to work for MTV, would have never thought I’d say. When I started my career in media that was all I wanted (and oh boy, I enjoyed it for over a decade), but as the years passed, I realized that to go up the ladder meant I needed to became a top producer, a commissioner or a CEO. I had seen some of my friends climb the ladder and I had seen them work long hours and on weekends, getting stressed and traveling for work only seeing hotel rooms and conference halls. I did not want that life. The people who lead that life and make it big, and I do have friends who have happily succeeded in that path, are people who have to be focused and tuned in all the time, but they love it – they dig it! The question is: the idea of being an A list celebrity or a CEO on top of his game may sound appealing, but do you really want to put up with all of the compromises that that life comes with and would you actually enjoy it?

Here’s an important point: just because you are not going to be the next big shot it does not mean you do not have a place or that you cannot become successful within that business or area of interest. There are many ways to success and you may actually find that what you started of by regarding as success is not what you want after all. Perhaps being a singer songwriter in D class gets you to write and sing the stuff you actually like without the life restriction and criticism that an A list celebrity needs to deal with day in day out.

BACK TO THE BASICS – DO ENJOY!

Let’s get back to sitting on a beach or taking a walk in nature not making money.

Aren’t these things key to life?

Think this: people go to work and take a holiday to go sit on a beach and they make no money. In fact, people do lots of things that make them no money! But the minute we start to say we want do something that makes us happy, which people have in their minds could potentially make you money, they miss the point entirely. Remember: you must enjoy what you do!

If you are missing something, then that is the thing you should be doing because that is what makes you happy. If you like painting, paint away. If you like writing, write away. Do it for yourself. Do what makes you happy because these are the things that draw us, that makes us alive and vibrant. That is a good test of what is important. Little disclaimer: of course, you can’t always go and do everything you miss, for example, drugs are not good! Use your head and follow your heart.

If it makes you happy but makes you no money, don’t try to overthink it too much because it costs you money anyways to go sit on a beach, go on holiday, purchase nice clothes, buy a house…etc…etc. It’s part of life.

Furthermore, my personal advice: don’t be afraid to live your dreams even if others see you as an unworthy nobody! Robert Miles,  Swiss-born Italian record producer, composer, musician and DJ, went knocking for two years at every record label’s door before his 1995 composition “Children” finally got signed by a small independent label and went on to sell more than five million copies topping the charts in many countries. A music producer friend of mine, who was partner in a big record label, famously turned down Anastacia because at the time she was over thirty and that was, and still is today, considered old in the music industry. That was just before she made her international breakthrough in 2000 aged thirty-two with her debut album “Not That Kind”.

I’m not A lister but does it allow me to express myself and send out my message? Yes, so hear me roar and I hope you will follow suit Impostor Syndrome free!

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We all have a superego although some of us call it differently: conscience, morality or something to do with a guilty voice inside of us. Understanding it can become one of the most powerful tools to unlock mental well-being.

According to Freud’s personality theory (1923) our psyche is structured into three parts that develop at different stages in our lives: id, ego and superego. The id is the more primitive and instinctual part of the mind that contains sexual and aggressive drives as well as hidden memories, the super-ego operates as a moral conscience, and the ego is the realistic part that mediates between the desires of the id and the super-ego.

The goal of the superego, which strives for moral perfections without taking into account the actual reality, is to try to civilize and perfect our behaviour by suppressing all unacceptable primeval urges of the id and while struggling to make the ego act upon idealistic standards rather that upon realistic principles. What’s more fascinating is that the superego is present at a conscious, preconscious, and unconscious level making the latter the more difficult to figure out and manage.

I believe that knowing how our mind works can help us to unravel why we do and feel the way we do and feel and aid us to better understand why people do what they do and why they affect us in such ways. In other words, if we are able to extract the essence of how or psyche works, we can lead a better life. Although psychoanalysis may seem to some a bit too intense and perhaps a little over analysed, I think there’s a few concepts out there than can truly help us preserve our well-being and that’s why I want to introduce you to the superego at the unconscious level. Ta-taaaaa!

Here’s why: the existence of the super-ego is observable in how people can view themselves as bad, shameful, guilty, weak, and feel compelled to do certain things. This is because, according to Freud, the super-ego reflects the internalization of cultural rules, mainly taught by parents applying their guidance and influence which starts at a very early age. When the superego acts in the conscious mind, we are aware of our resulting feelings. However, when the superego acts unconsciously to punish or suppress the id, we might end up with feelings of guilt and no real understanding of why we feel that way.

Freud did not believe that the superego is the same as our conscience, but there are similarities as sometimes it speaks directly to us in a parent like voice “don’t do this….do that…”. Think of it this way, if you swap the noun “superego” with the noun “conscience”, you can start to see how important is to ensure that our superego/kinda conscience does not end up suffocating us with over perfectionisms.

Superego

According to Freud the superego is like the voice of authority that once belonged to the parents and that with time has become part of ourselves. Sometimes it praises us for “good” behaviour, sometimes it manifests itself in the form of a punitive voice for what the it perceives is bad behaviour.

Freud also explains that the establishment of this critical inner voice is what makes civilization possible as, by repressing our most powerful instinctual urges, it allows us to live together in a complex social unit such as towns, cities etc… However, it also comes at a cost: “the loss of happiness through the heightening of this sense of guilt” (Freud , S. “Civilization and its Discontents”, 1930)

Why is it relevant to you? Our need to obey, honour and maintain the social order in which we live is rooted in infancy and early childhood and it continues to develop in our lives as a form of respect for law and social order as imposed (and ingrained) on us by the society we live in. The superego, acting as some form of conscience, keeps us in check with what it perceives as “good” or “bad” but as conscience is deeply related to a sense of guilt and, when the inner voice becomes punitive and unrealistic about its expectations, it can become a problem.

Let’s concentrate on the feeling of guilt for a moment. Sometimes when we feel guilty, we hear a relentless voice criticizing and castigating us until it becomes our priority worry and until we become consumed by that sense of guilt. How do we deal with it? We try to make things better and repair the damage, or we begin to blame someone else. When the guilt is at its most extreme and intolerable it can lead a person to seek, not just some punishment, but some terrible punishment as well as it can turn with astonishing ferocity on others who are held to blame. At its worst, it can lead to suicide. Interestingly, sometimes it’s just too painful to hear the voice inside, so we somehow manage to perceive it as being located in other people, for example when we hear that inner voice (that deep down we perceive as true) as if coming from someone else (i.e. “my friend hates me for always wearing old clothes, she thinks I don’t care and she makes me feel bad and ugly!”).

Is the superego conscious or unconscious?

Although it may seem that the superego voice is experienced in our thoughts, it resides mostly in the unconscious…. making it a real bugger because it means we are motivated by feelings we are not aware of.

A typical example is when we know someone is unwell or unhappy or unable to go and do something (perhaps due to illness or disability) and we end up feeling so sorry and sad for that person, maybe even burdened for something that we are not responsible for, that we are unable to be happy and enjoy life ourselves. Sometimes it’s out of respect for someone that is dear to us, but in other cases the feeling of guilt is so strong that it stops us from living our life.

In these cases, the superego can attack us by making us feel guilty, it can suck the pleasure out from life and leave us feeling meaningless. And although we don’t consciously feel guilty about something, we are being punished for something we unconsciously feel guilty about.

The damaging effects of owning a very harsh superego

As Priscilla Roth explains in “Ideas in Psychoanalysis: the superego”, a healthy person has a superego that mostly helps him to feel good about himself and punishes him by making him feel guilty for something bad he did. In other words, a healthy superego is no different from a kind but firm parent: it has rules but it is also forgiving of transgressions. It can be mitigated.

However, when the superego is a harsh one, things can go pear shaped.

The hiding-under-the-sand dance

Priscilla Roth explains the gravity of a hard superego when she describes how “someone persecuted by an excessively hard superego could be seen as unconsciously cowering under an unstable mountain of guilt. To recognize its scale or to attempt the slightest reduction of its terrible weight is to risk an annihilating avalanche of shame. Such unfortunate people, unable to make any move that would allow the process of reparation to begin, are doomed to endless reproach and attack within. People whose superego is this cruel usually have to get rid of it one way or another, otherwise they are in great danger of hurting themselves or others. In extreme cases, relationships are damaged and acute depression causes difficulties at work. At its worst, suicide or even murder can seem to be the only way to silence the remorseless internal assault.” (Priscilla, R. “Ideas in Psychoanalysis: the superego”, 2001)

The projection-blame dance

Sometimes when the superego is too harsh and when the guilt feels to awful to bear, people unconsciously project their superego outside themselves into someone else. In other words, they locate the criticising voices in somebody else and experience the criticism as coming from other people. This can be seen as the only way for a person that suffers from harsh superego to keep guilt free. The downside is that by so doing they are unable to correctly locate the problems and solve it.

The turn-it-to-others dance

Another common way of dealing with harsh superego is to turn it towards other people. For example, people that have experience bullying at school, or have been denigrated and belittled by their parents, may find that that voice that had initially come from the outside (a bully or parent for example), is now residing within, always threatening with harsh criticism. A way of dealing with it? Turning it on someone else. i.e. their own child!

It is thus important, when we meet people like this, to stop for a moment to try and understand their strange or inappropriate behaviour. For example, people who come across as bossy or people who make us feel small and worthless, may be behaving as such in order to rid of their own bad feelings and inadequacies by putting them on us! The next time you are subject to hard criticism from someone, try to take a moment to reflect on it: there may be some truth in what they are saying, but did it need to come out so harshly? And does it tell you more about them than you?

Introjection and identification

Before closing the curtains over this topic about the superego and the unconscious, I’d like to touch two more concepts that, once again, go to show how the superego in the unconscious level can really screw us up.

Mourning & depression

Here’s anther interesting piece of knowledge: Freud and another early psychoanalyst named Karl Abraham, carried out several studies to understand and treat patients who were suffering from melancholia (what we now call depression). They noticed that patients with melancholia would criticize themselves constantly for being worthless, unlovable, unkind, uncaring or stupid – for example. This self-criticism with time turned into self-hatred. It’s important to underline that this is the first distinguishing characteristic of depression.

Abraham noticed that very depressed people seemed very muck like people in mourning, although without a clear understanding of what was lost or died. This theory that depression is some form of mourning gone haywire is still the basic psychoanalytic theory behind depression.

Freud believed that while mourning is always in relation to a consciously perceived lost object or being; melancholia (depression), is more frequently experienced in relation to a loss that can only be located in the unconscious.

However, for someone to fall ill with depression due to the loss of a loved one, the relationship with that loved one must have been basically narcissistic. This means that the loved object was felt as belonging to and even being a part of or an extension of the person’s own self. This is why the feeling of impoverishment is experienced by that person in the very self. Common headlines? “I am lost and I am nothing without that person”.

In depression, on top of the withdrawal of interest in the outside world and an inhibition towards getting involved, the one’s self turns to be experienced as unable to be loving or loved: the very self becomes the object of much hatred, criticism and denigration. This is how people end up feeling utterly worthless. “Paradoxically”, as Priscilla Roth explains (Priscilla, R. “Ideas in Psychoanalysis: the superego”, 2001) “there is also a peculiar aura of self-importance, of self-aggrandisement in their complaints about themselves: Who would ever love me I am so revolting!”

Can you now see the link between a hard-internal superego voice and depression?

Identification, incorporation and internalization

In psychoanalysis, introjection is the process that takes place when a person replicates behaviours, ideas and voices of the surrounding world by internalizing them as a self-stabilizing defence mechanism. In a way it provides the illusion of maintaining relationship but at the expense of a loss of self.

Similar concepts are identification, incorporation and internalization which happen when a person picks up traits from his or her friends, for example a mannerism or an accent or the use of a particular expression, as a result of that said friend repeatedly doing it.

Let’s look at some scenarios:

An example of introjection is when a person internalizes the ideas or voices of other people, often perceived as external authorities, into his/her way of thinking. This could be a son whose father believed that “women do the housework”. Although the son isn’t necessarily identifying with the father, this idea and voice may well become part of how he sees the world and, hence, how he believes he should behave.

Over time it may lead to identification with the individual who said it. This may look like the son is following in the father’s footsteps but it’s more than that. The son is identifying with his father. He may follow a similar career path, start to dress similarly, and take on other similar beliefs. The son is no longer introjecting just one belief but identifying himself with his father. In this case, the son may go on to see himself as the head of his own household, just like his father was, and expect to be treated like his father, with his wife respecting and treating him as his mom treated his dad.

But the process is much more complicated than that because the child’s picture of his parents and of their commands, prohibitions and beliefs, is deeply affected by the child’s own feelings. For example, a child that feels good about himself and loving towards his parents, will imagine them as loving towards him. However, the other way around is also true! An angry child often views his parents as being similarly angry. Similarly, a child who feels horrible inside himself, sees the whole world, and especially his parents, also as being horrible. A child that feels full of hate, jealousy and resentment, will imagine his parents as hating him. What can happen is that the child will project his bad feelings onto his parents and imagine them feeling as horrible about him as he does about them. In other words, the parent is introjected by the child as he imagines them to be – and often this is angrier, harsher, stricter than they actually are.

Obviously, it being at an unconscious level, makes it difficult for us to be able to locate it and understand it. However, your knowledge on this matter may help you better understand your internal voice and his requests upon you and your life.

Conclusion

We all have an unconscious side and we all do things without really knowing or understanding the greater moving force behind it. The superego aka our internal judge, can be a cruel, harsh and persecuting force but it can also be a forgiving and benign one. Dealing with something we have no idea how it looks like, how it moves and speaks and where it likes to live, makes it difficult for us to even face it. We can experience it within ourselves, we can project it onto other people and turn it to others so we can judge them harshly instead of having to face judging ourselves. We develop the superego (conscience, guilty internal voice or morality) through our life, but it starts with our parents and other significant figures in our life and it is in some ways and to some extent, a reflection of these people. What’s important to remember is that it can shape your life, your choices, affect relationships with other people as well as the relationship (feelings and image) you have of yourself.

But there are tracings techniques that can help you locate it and understand it. If any of the above raised questions within you in regards to some of your life choices, then you are already a step closer to understanding your superego in the unconscious level and closer to redeem yourself. If you need a little help to move in the right direction, perhaps checking your core beliefs and challenging them to see if they are still valid, is a good starting point!

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Vitamin D, also known as the “sunshine vitamin” is produced in our skin in response to sunlight. It’s a fat-soluble vitamin that our bodies produce naturally when directly exposed to sunlight. Although it is possible to get vitamin D through certain foods, it’s difficult to get the recommended amount from food alone and even when considering supplements, in order to ensure adequate levels of the vitamin in our blood, the main source of vitamin D still remains the action of sunlight on our skin. 

There are several important functions that rely on vitamin D such as regulating the absorption of calcium and phosphorus, and facilitating normal immune system function. It is also vital for normal growth and development of bones, teeth, muscles, and it improves the resistance against certain diseases.

A vitamin D deficiency can cause bone abnormalities such as soft bones (osteomalacia) or fragile bones (osteoporosis).

But it does not end all here. Look deeper and you’ll find vitamin D is quite a wildcard!

The benefits of vitamin D

There are many benefits associated with Vitamin D. These are:

• Helps fighting diseases

Vitamin D, it appears, is an often-understated wild card warrior! According to a study published in 2006 in the Journal of the American Medical Association, vitamin D may play a significant role in reducing the risk of multiple sclerosis.  A study published in the Jan. 13, 2004 issue of Neurology indicated that women who get doses of vitamin D that are typically found in daily multivitamin supplements of at least 400 IU (International Units), are 40% less likely to develop multiple sclerosis compared with those not taking over-the-counter supplements.  Furthermore, low levels of the vitamin D  is linked to an  increased risk of type 1 diabetes, muscle and bone pain, and according to a research published in 2010 in the American Journal of Clinical NutritionTrusted Source it was discovered that it might even help reducing the risks of contracting the flu.

• Lowers the risks of cancer

As more and more evidence are collected, even just by analysing the effects of vitamin D deficiency on our body, we can come to understand the link between vitamin D and it’s beneficial effects when present in adequate levels. Low levels of the vitamin D  is linked to diseases such as cancers of the breast, colon, prostate, ovaries, esophagus, and lymphatic system.  In a study published in 2003 in the Journal of the American Medical Association, of more than 3,000 veterans (ages 50 to 75) at 13 Veterans Affairs medical centres, those who consumed more than 645 IU (International Units) of vitamin D a day along with more than 4 grams per day of cereal fibre had a 40% reduction in their risk of developing precancerous colon polyps. “Activated vitamin D is one of the most potent inhibitors of cancer cell growth, it also stimulates your pancreas to make insulin. It regulates your immune system.” – Michael F. Holick, PhD, MD, Head of the Vitamin D, Skin and Bone Research Laboratory at Boston University School of Medicine.

• Reduces the risks of heart disease and high blood pressure

According to the findings published in 2008 in the  CirculationTrusted Source vitamin D is also responsible for decreasing the chance of developing heart disease. In an interesting study, overweight people who took a daily vitamin D supplement improved their heart disease risk markers. A study carried on at Boston University on people with high blood pressure who were exposed to UVA and UVB rays for three months showed that, not only their vitamin D levels increased by more than 100%, but that, more impressively, their high blood pressure normalized. One theory suggests that vitamin D reduces blood pressure by decreasing the production of a hormone called renin, which is believed to play a role in hypertension.

• Reduces depression

Yes, we are all a little chirper when the sun is out, but it’s not just because we can go out and play; there’s some interesting science behind the improved mood. In a study, the data collected showed that people with depression who received vitamin D supplements noticed an improvement in their symptoms. Interestingly, in another study of people with fibromyalgia (a long-term chronic condition of musculoskeletal pain, general fatigue and cognitive disturbance) researchers found that those who were also experiencing anxiety and depression also had a vitamin D deficiency. These breakthrough researches go to show that vitamin D might play an important role in regulating mood and aiding against depression.

• Boosts weight loss

If this wasn’t enough, it seems vitamin D can also help us regulate our weight! In a study, people who were taking a daily calcium and vitamin D supplement were able to lose more weight than the people who were given a placebo supplement. The result lead to scientist discovering that the extra calcium and vitamin D had an appetite-suppressing effect. So, consider adding vitamin D supplements to your diet if you’re trying to lose weight.

Vitamin D deficiency

Although the best way to assimilate vitamin D is by being exposed to sunlight, there’s many factors that can affect our ability to get sufficient amounts through the sun alone. For example:

• Living somewhere that have short daylight
• Being in an area with high pollution
• Living in big cities where buildings block sunlight
• Spending more time indoors (may it be due to disability, age, depression or pure laziness)
• Using sunscreen (although sunscreen is recommended to block UV rays)
• Having darker skin (the higher the levels of melanin, the less vitamin D the skin can absorb)

Vitamin D deficiency in adults can lead to various conditions, such as:

• Severe bone or muscle pain or weakness that may cause difficulty climbing stairs or getting up from the floor or a low chair, or cause you to walk with a waddling gait also known as myopathic gait, which is a way of walking.
• Stress fractures, especially in your legs, pelvis, and hips
• Tiredness, aches and pains, and a general sense of not feeling well

Doctors can diagnose a vitamin D deficiency with a simple blood test. In case of a deficiency, X-rays may be taken to check the strength of the bones. The usual recommendation will then be to take daily vitamin D supplements as well as rising the vitamin D levels through sunlight and diet.

Food sources of vitamin D

Not many foods contain vitamin D naturally. However, nowadays there’s additional options thanks to fortified foods (which simply means the vitamin D has been added!). These are:

• oily fish such as salmon, sardines, herring and mackerel
• egg yolk
• red meat
• liver
• fortified foods such as some cereal, orange juice, milk and yogurts (*In the UK, cows’ milk is not generally fortified with vitamin D).

Vitamin D supplements

For some, it can be hard to get enough vitamin D each day through sun exposure and food alone, so taking vitamin D supplements can help. Vitamin D supplements are available in supermarkets as well as in pharmacies and are relatively inexpensive. The main type is called D3 and is made from animal products but you can also find the plant alternative called D2.

One thing to remember about vitamin D supplements is that, although it is not possible to overdose on the vitamin D manufactured by our skin, it is however possible to have a toxic or overdose effect from vitamin D supplements. Vitamin D is a fat-soluble vitamin, meaning it’s stored in the body. A daily intake above 2,000 IU (international Units) can lead to kidney stones or kidney damage, muscle weakness, or excessive bleeding.

Supplements have also been subject of much debate. This is because supplements are not considered drugs (which are regulated by the Food and Drug Administration) meaning they are not put through the same strict safety and effectiveness requirements that drugs have to pass. Any type of drugs that can be bought, even without a prescription, must be proven safe and effective whereas dietary supplements do not. For more interesting facts on supplements click here.

How much do you need?

There has been some controversy over the amount of vitamin D needed for healthy functioning. What is evident is that recent research indicates that you need more vitamin D than was once thought and that its benefits are far greater than previously anticipated! Normal blood serum levels range from 50 to 100mcg (micrograms per decilitre) but depending on your blood level, you may need more vitamin D.

In the U.K. the NHS (National Health Service) has reviewed its guidelines on how much vitamin D is needed and can be found here. One in five people in the UK, under normal circumstances, has a vitamin D deficiency, and it is for this very reason that, since 2016, the Government has recommended a daily supplement of 10mcg, especially over winter when there is less sunlight, to ensure healthy levels. However, evidence also shows that you can take up to 100mcg a day with no adverse effects and that it may take several weeks to build up your vitamin D levels. Public Health England advises that in spring and summer, the majority of the population gets enough vitamin D through sunlight on the skin along with a healthy, balanced diet. However, it recommends that ethnic minority groups with dark skin as well as people whose skin gets little or no exposure to the sun, such as those in care homes or those who cover their skin when outside, should consider taking a year-round supplement. In terms of exposure to the sunlight, with the due care, 10 minutes a day may be enough for people with pale skin, while 25-30 minutes may be enough for everyone else.

When exposing yourself to the sun, always make sure you follow the recommended guidelines to avoid sunburn and other more serious conditions. You can click here for more information.

The anti-inflammatory sunshine vitamin: tuberculosis and Covid-19

Studies have shown that there is a link between the deficiency of vitamin D and the activation of tuberculosis (TB). The data revealed that serum levels of vitamin D in TB patients are lower than in healthy controls and that prolonged treatment of TB also causes a decline in serum vitamin D levels.

Today, vitamin D is yet again the subject of much research, this time as a treatment options to reduce the risk of coronavirus. This comes amid growing concern over the disproportionate number of black, Asian and minority ethnic people contracting and dying from the disease. One observation on people with darker skin is that, the higher the levels of melanin, the less vitamin D the skin can absorb and create. Vitamin D helps the body to handle viral respiratory infections by boosting the ability of cells to resist and even kill viruses as well as reducing harmful inflammation, which is one of the big problems with coronavirus. The belief is that it can cause the immune system to be weaker, but as of today there is not enough evidence to support that Vitamin D can prevent or help against coronavirus.

Conclusion

Our main source of vitamin D is from the action of sunlight on our skin, so it could be argued that the best way to get your vitamin D is to get some fresh air and get out there! As an added benefit if you pair that with some form of physical activity, which is hugelybeneficial to your body as well as your mental health, you’ll unlock a more rounded wellness. it’s a win-win!

What we know from the huge amount of data around nutrients, vitamins and, more in general about well-being, is that nothing should be considered in isolation. Food, for example, should be always considered in its complexity as the various nutrients in foods interact with each other and they behave very differently when isolated. Similarly, we should not look at vitamin C, or Vitamin A or…Vitamin D as the next best magical thing. None alone are enough for our well-being. All are needed to work together within our body in order to bring benefits.

Could vitamin D become the next warlord against diseases and even against coronavirus? Even if vitamin D was to turn out to be a valuable element in the fight against Coronavirus, it is likely many other factors would come into play too.

Think this: research from the University of Birmingham has shown that having a vitamin D deficiency increases the length of time patients stay in hospital. Does this mean that is we sunbathe all day long we shall recover faster? Not really. It is likely that people who have higher levels of vitamin D are also people who spend more time out because more active or sociable. This would mean they are likely to be fitter, they may be more aware of their nutritional intake, and also in a more positive mindset. On the opposite spectrum, it is possible that people who have vitamin D deficiency spend more time indoors because of a disability or mental state or because of age. It may also be that, due to lack of exercise they are also overweight and perhaps a bit depressed too. Their bodies may not be as healthy in fighting a condition and this may be why they spend more time recovering in a hospital.

One thing is sure: vitamin D has many benefits to speak of and if you pair it with getting some fresh air and doing some exercise and, even better, if you do so in good company, it appears you’ll have more benefits that you can shake a stick at.

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Nutrition plays a big role in how you feel on the inside. Put the good stuff in and your body will thank you. 

Whether you’re depressed, suffering with S.A.D or temporarily lost your mojo, it’s normal to go through phases of not wanting to exercise. We hope these tips on how to exercise when you’re feeling low help you get the best from yourself when you’re not 100%

It’s rather ironic: study after study after study highlights the powerful and wide-ranging mental health benefits of exercise and yet getting yourself out the door when you’re feeling down can be the hardest thing on earth.

Please note we’re certainly not downplaying the severity of depression and these tips are not the solution for many people’s troubles. We’d strongly encourage anyone who’s suffering to seek help from friends, family or professionals, but hope these tricks help empower you to get out there when you’re not feeling like it.

#1 Celebrate the small victories

Week in, week out, we expect ourselves to get training sessions done and – by and large – we do.

It’s easy to take that for granted and forget that consistent training requires great mental and physical strength. That strength should be rewarded, particularly on the days when you really don’t want to it.

#2 Make it achievable

This one applies to everyone, from elite athlete to weekend warrior. If you’re in a dark spot and are faced with an intimidating session, there’s little likelihood of a positive outcome. You’ll either start the session and have to pull halfway through (leaving you feeling like a failure) or you’ll not even begin because your head simply isn’t in it.

Dial back the planned session, make it more achievable and recognise that something is better than nothing.

Athletes thrive on squeezing the most from each session but understanding that dialling the planned session back to accommodate your mental health is crucial for long-term consistency. It is not a sign of weakness.

#3 Know what you find easy

When you’re in a hole, don’t try to complete a session you find super-tough. Replace it with a session you find easier.

Of course, low intensity aerobic sessions tend to make a good replacement for hard interval sets and still bring positive physiological adaptations, but some find short, sharp sessions mentally easier to complete.

Personally, my go-to session when I feel unable to complete a mentally demanding session is a 30/30 workout. Either cycling or running, it looks like this:

• Warm up: 10 minutes easy
• Main set: 10 X [30s strong, 30s easy]. 5 minutes easy. 10 X [30s strong, 30s easy]
• Cool down: 10 minutes low intensity

This session is only 45 minutes – it flies by but still delivers fitness gains.

Note the sessions you find easy to accomplish and use these as your go-to when your head isn’t in a place to complete the planned workout.

#4 Remember the 5-minute rule

Used in conjunction with #2 – ensuring the session is realistic and achievable – we know we always feel better after exercise.

Rarely will we get home from a run wishing we hadn’t gone, so deploy the 5-minute rule: get changed, get out there and start. If after five minutes you don’t want to continue, you have permission to go home.

Nine times out of 10 you’ll crack on and complete the session.

#5 Give yourself a break

This is so easy to say but for Type A personalities it can be very hard.

Recognising that we’re all human – not robots – is not a weakness. Quite the opposite in fact. Understanding you’re fallible and accepting that we’re all susceptible to wanes in mojo is important because it gives us permission to be kind to ourselves.

There is no failure in admitting weakness and saying, ‘you know what, today I just don’t have the fire in my belly to train’.

#6 Do it with friends

When you hear successful athletes speak about the factors which contribute to their success, you’ll often hear them say their training ‘environment’ – ie, the group of people they train alongside – plays a key role.

Next time you really don’t fancy getting out there, drop a friend a text and ask if they fancy a cruise. You’ll tick the exercise box and another important one: building relationships.

#7 Nutrition matters

There’s a clear link between the food you eat and the quality of your mental health.

This article concludes the typical Western diet “is devoid of many of the key nutrients critical for the proper functioning of the central nervous system.” Another explains how “It is undeniably linked to nutrition, as suggested by the mounting evidence by research in neuropsychiatry.”

People suffering from depression often have low levels of neurotransmitters like serotonin and dopamine, deficiencies of which are as a result of diet.

Because there’s a clear connection between nutrition and mental health, it’s easy to see the link between nutrition and exercise.

If your mental health suffers due to poor diet, you’re less likely to train, which compounds the problem. You feel rubbish so you eat rubbish and you thus lose the mojo to train – it’s a vicious cycle.

Improving the quality of nutrition is a great step on the path to consistent training. Put the good stuff in an you’ll want to reward your body with some exercise.

How to exercise when you’re feeling low – conclusion

Even if you’re passionate about sport and love training, the mind can be cruel and rob you of your desire to get out there and do the one thing that often makes you feel better.

I think the most important of the above tips is #5: give yourself a break and accept that it’s normal for your desire to exercise to diminish from time to time.

Recognise you’re human and be kind to yourself. Keep the healthy nutrition going in and you will stay in shape

Nutrition plays a big role in how you feel on the inside. Put the good stuff in and your body will thank you.

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According to the Oxford English Dictionary, subjugation means “the action of bringing someone or something under domination or control”.

In Cognitive Psychology the action of sacrificing and denying our own needs, wishes and beliefs in order to please others, their needs and wishes instead, is called subjugation. When we do this, we are essentially treating ourselves as less important than other people.

The good news is that subjugation can be prevented by learning how to deal with difficult situations that would otherwise lead to sacrificing your needs.

Traits

Typically, people who are subjugated, display some common traits. These are:

• Being eager to please others at the cost of their own needs
• Feeling that they are responsible for the well-being and happiness of others, resulting in taking care of others
• Feeling guilty for prioritizing themselves
• Being prone to seeking the approval of others
• Worrying that saying no or confronting a subjugator will result in rejection and anger
• Feeling guilty
• Being prone to anxiety
• Feeling that they do not have control over their own lives and choices or that others control them
• Being unable to take major decisions for themselves
• Being unable to express their own thoughts, opinions and needs

The reason for becoming subjugated may be because we feel obliged to help others (self-sacrifice) based on a belief or conviction that we hold, i.e. it’s my responsibility to take care of this, or that we somehow feel responsible for the well-being, happiness, needs and wishes of the ones who are close to us (parents, children, siblings, friends, partners, colleagues). This can even be extended to acquaintances and strangers that we perceive as less fortunate or more in need. In some cases, it can even be an inability to deal with the control, power and influence that people seem to hold over us (submissiveness). While everyone else seems to have control over their lives and choices, we do not and it’s in this out of control position that we are more easily influenced and subjugated.

With time, we can start to feel exhausted, suffocated, oppressed and burdened by this weight and responsibility. Eventually we start to lose the ability to claim our freedom because all the choices we make depends on what is needed by others first. Life can start to lose its sparkle and, as we start to deprive ourselves of our own needs, we also start to lose focus on what is the purpose of our life. As a sense of loss of fulfilment sets in, we might also start to resent others.

But brace yourself: this vicious circle can be stopped!

The many faces of Subjugation

A simple way to avoid being subjugated would be to simply say “no”, but why is it so difficult for people to say no when faced with these lifetrap subjugations?

Sometimes we simply cannot stand to see others in pain. Sometimes the problem is that people can begin to depend on us and, as they start to take advantage, we find it hard to put a stop to it. Sometimes we are just afraid of being judged as uncaring or heartless if we do nothing.  Other times we fear that if we say no we will be faced with rejection, isolation and even revenge. Or, we might simply subjugate out of guilt because we feel we need the approval and liking of others.

Subjugation has many faces! So, let’s take a look at them.

• Guilt and self-sacrifice: some of the faces of subjugation

This occurs when we feel responsible for others. When, somehow, we feel obliged to take care of the needs and wishes of others and in so doing, we end up neglecting ourselves. As we give more than we get back, our lives become unbalanced, yet we feel compelled to carry on. Not doing so becomes unthinkable, mean and selfish. Even thinking about putting our needs first makes us feel guilty.

There might be instances and periods of time during which we try to break this vicious circle, unfortunately always reverting back to what we have become familiar with, guilt and self-sacrifice, as we feel judged by the reaction of others and saddened and responsible for the outcome without us there.  

• Submission, frustration, resentment, anger and hurt: Subjugation’s other faces

Submission, frustration, resentment, anger and hurt can all be a series of emotions that we feel from having to continually place others ahead of ourselves, please them, care for them and renounce our needs in place of theirs.

We might find that we feel frustrated, that our needs do not count to others, that we are being exploited for our kindness and this can bring us a deep sense of hurt, unfulfillment and despair.

It is worth considering, that in many cases, it is perhaps us that created this position. Perhaps we ask too much of ourselves. Perhaps we have been too familiar with it for too long to realize that it’s gone too far for too long. The point being that in some cases, others do not realize the sacrifice we are undertaking. They might have not realized the way we feel and are likely to carry on without giving much thought to it unless they hear our voice. Our silence might well be misunderstood as approval and acceptance.

Subjugation in the workplace

It is normal, especially at work, to want to be liked and to please. It is therefore understandable how, at times, our wanting to please might go as far as working extra hours, taking on extra work and having very few demands.

The result, however, might take us a little further than we anticipated. Trying too hard to please others might mean we are not able to give constructive criticism. Working extra hours can lead to others taking advantage of us when perhaps we should learn to delegate, and not having a voice might turn into us losing opportunities or, worst, burnout.

Bottling it up, conjecturing what others might think and do, becoming frustrated and angry are all too familiar situations which play out when we subjugate at work.

The art of saying no when too much is too much, could save us a lot of headaches.

Are we unknowingly subjugating ourselves?

Take a moment to look at yourself and take time to reflect upon your answers.

1. Are there any situations, both at work as well as at home, in which you sacrifice your needs in place of the needs of others?
2. Are you familiar with yourself and your own needs?
3. How much of your time is used to give to others and how much do you get in return?
4. How much of your time do you give yourself for your own needs?
5. Do you often feel like you are doing too much and not being credited for your hard work?

Changing the way we see, perceive and behave with someone or something can change the way we feel about them and even ourselves. When we use our assertiveness to confront someone who has held a lot of power and control over us, not only can we feel less intimidated but we also start feeling a lot more empowered. Similarly, if we are able to tweak our negative behaviour to a more positive one, we might find that people are more likely to want to listen and cooperate with us.

Take control and empower yourself!

The ability to empower ourselves resides with us and us only. It is important that we understand the limitations and damaging effects of sacrificing our needs for the needs of others and it is important that we realize we are not responsible for the continuous happiness of others.This is especially true when caring for depressed, alcohol or drug addicts and suicidal people. If their happiness relies only on us being there, it creates a far too precarious and unstable position. Similarly, it is important to understand that turning an emergency situation, for example looking after someone following an accident, into a long-term everyday way of living, is unsustainable. We also have a duty of care to ourselves. We also deserve a life worth exploring and living.

Typical subjugation lifetraps

Familiarizing yourself with typical subjugation lifetraps can help you identify and act on them more easily. Here some classic scenarios:

1. You let other people have their own way most of the time.
2. You are too eager to please – you will do almost anything to be liked or accepted.
3. You do not like to disagree openly with other people’s opinions.
4. You are more comfortable when other people are in a position of control.
5. You will do almost anything to avoid confrontation or anger. You always accommodate.
6. You do not know what you want or prefer in many situations.
7. You are not clear about your career decisions.
8. You always end up taking care of everyone else – almost no one listens to or takes care of you
9. You cannot stand to say or do anything that hurts other people’s feelings.
10. You often stay in situations where you feel trapped or where your needs are not met.
11. You do not want other people to see you as selfish so you go to the other extreme.
12. You often sacrifice yourself for the sake of other people.
13. You often take on more than your share of responsibilities at home and/or at work.
14. When other people are troubled or in pain, you try very hard to make them feel better, even at your own expense.
15. You often feel angry at other people for telling you what to do.
16. You often feel cheated – that you are giving more than you are getting back.
17. You feel guilty when you ask for what you want.
18. You do not stand up for your rights.
19. You resist doing what other people want you to do in an indirect way. You procrastinate, make mistakes, and make excuses.
20. You cannot get along with authority figures.
21. You cannot ask for promotions or raises at work.
22. You feel that you lack integrity – you accommodate too much.
23. People tell you that you are not aggressive or ambitious enough.
24. You play down your accomplishments.
25. You have trouble being strong in negotiations.

Practising how to break free of Subjugation

Breaking free from being subjugated takes practise but here are some tips you can start munching on right away:

1. Assert yourself. Learn to stop behaving passive-aggressively and begin to find your voice.
2. Come to terms with your peculiarities and differences, learn from your mistakes and start forming your own opinions.
3. Make a list of subjugation situations in your life in order of difficulty in handling it and develop a plan by starting with the easiest one.
4. Practice saying no when too much is too much and learn to ask for help for a well-balanced life between what you give others and what you get in return.
5. Learn to express yourself in a calm and controlled way and to discuss your problems and difficulties appropriately and constructively where needed and with whomever necessary.
6. Practice expressing your feelings without becoming guilty when others are upset at your being unable to accommodate them.
7. From time to time, allow yourself to re-evaluate your relationships with others and pull away from people that are not worth your time as too controlling, selfish, dependant or dismissive of your own needs.
8. Stop telling yourself that favour/the extra help/those extra work hours don’t really matter. Be honest with yourself!
9. Take credit for what you do and similarly acknowledge the merits of others. Do not take advantage of others and do not let others take advantage of you. In a sticky situation, ask for clarification and be prepared to negotiate and compromise to a certain extent.

Conclusion

In many cases the problem is simply and plainly us! We need to learn to say “no” as it’s the only way to prevent subjugation from happening and the only way to enable us to find our assertiveness and give voice to our own needs, wishes and life fulfilment. It is important to remember that we are also important. That we also deserve time for ourselves. That we are also entitled to our own happiness and to fulfil our own life.

Of course, sometimes life throws us difficult situations from which we cannot walk away. Situations that force us to be the grown up, act upon and care for others. However, we should always remember that while we can do this for the duration of an emergency or critical period of time, that we are also entitled to our own happiness and life fulfilment. Every case needs to be looked at individually, but…

understanding that we also have a responsibility to ourselves is a first important step to reassert ourselves as we look at different options to face a critical situation.

So, if you feel the Subjugated profile fits your bill, then it’s about time you take action. A better life is just around the corner!

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Some may have acquired expensive habits and unaware of living outside their means, while some may have found themselves caught on a rainy day and, before they know it, they are trapped in credit cards debts unable to pay them back. There are many reasons why people find themselves in debt, but one thing is sure: if you are reading this article is because you, or someone you know, is struggling under the burden of debt and you are looking at ways to pay it off and live securely.  

The bad news is that paying off debt is hard work. Sorry! You will have to make changes, sacrifices, and there will be times when you will feel tired, defeated and even lonely.

The good news is that paying off your debt and living debt free comes with many positives. By learning how to eliminate your debt you will acquire a renewed respect for money and a better understanding of your finances. Also, by learning budgeting skills you will be able to quit the paycheck-to-paycheck lifestyle and feel in control of your finances and life choices. Once debt free you will also be able to save for retirement, plan holidays and, needless to say, this will deposit a big-fat happiness cheque in your happiness bank.

The road to dept free living starts today. Empower yourself and start your journey to a better and brighter future by starting with some easy steps.

STEP 1 – FACE THE MUSIC AND QUANTIFY YOUR DEBT

In order to pay off your debt, you will need to figure out how much you are in debt.

Seems silly, but you’ll be amazed! Most people have no idea how much debt they have, which is simply frightening because it means there is no plan on how much and how to pay it back.

Get a calculator, gather together your credit card statements and any other repayments you have outstanding. By adding it up, you will have a more realistic figure. Surprisingly, when most people complete this step, they realize that they have a lot more debt than they originally thought. It may be scary but it needs doing. Remind yourself that you are doing this because you have realized there’s a problem and you are here to solve it.

STEP 2 – UNDERSTAND WHY YOU HAVE A DEBT

An important step to becoming debt free is to face the issues that led to your debt. If you don’t do this step, you may find yourself in yet another debt in the not so distant future.

By identifying the cause at the root of the problem, you will be able to understand what brought you here in the first place and how to avoid it in the future.

Try to be as honest as possible with yourself. Ask yourself questions such as why do you think you are in debt? Could it be you have an emotional spending problem? If so, how does the act of spending makes you feel and why is owning those things so important to you? Perhaps you found yourself in a financial emergency. If so, did you have an emergency fund? If not, why did you not save for one and how can you prevent this from happening again in the future?

STEP 3 – PUT YOUR OUTINGS UNDER THE MICROSCOPE AND CREATE A REALISTIC MONTHLY BUDGET

Budgeting will help you take control over your debt and enable to manage your financial situation in the future.

Gather your bank statements, make a list of your regular outings and try to be as accurate as possible about the “unexpected” outings of the last few months. Fully itemise what you spend each month. You can do this on a spreadsheet, or by using a (free) budgeting tool.

While keeping in mind the reasons that brought you here in the first place (a spending habit or not having an emergency fund, for example), create (and live with) a realistic bare-bones budget. You are going to pay back a debt so you will need to tighten your belt, buckle up and plough through this time, but no point in sticking to an unrealistic budget which is certain to send you straight to a fail!

To work out your bare-bones budget nail down your spending from previous months, slash non-essential expenses, dig a little deeper by asking yourself what else can you do without, list your new bare-bones expenses and tally them up.

If you have a family you may find it’s helpful to sit down with them on a regular basis, perhaps once a month, to review where you are at. Take time to reassess your unified financial goals and whether changes and adjustments need to be made. Communication is paramount in keeping the unit together, involved and motivated towards you family’s financial goals.

Also, by reviewing your debt status from time to time you will be able to see the progress and by looking at where all your money is going, you may spot other savvy opportunities that work for you. You may find missing out on eating out is no trouble but not having cable is a big ask.

STEP 4 – CLOSE YOUR CREDIT CARDS: NO MORE ADDING!

If you’ve made the changes in your budget, have some extra income and it’s safe for you to close your credit card accounts, it may be the next best thing you can do.

By closing off your access to credit cards you are effectively cutting your dependency from them. Whilst this may seem daunting at first, in the long run it will help you to be free of all your debts.

Make the decision of not adding to the debt by cutting off temptation all together: don’t take out extra student or personal loans that you don’t need, cancel your credit card or ask for your credit card limit to be lowered.

Remind yourself that credit cards give you money that you will eventually have to pay back and, if you miss your payments, you will pay sky-high interests on top! It is also good practice to ensure you have some cash or money in your personal bank account before buying something with a credit card, to ensure you will be able to pay back when the deadline comes.

When talking about credit cards it may help to familiarize with some of the terminologies they use:

• Balance. The credit card balance is in negative, not in positive! Your balance is how much money you have spent using your credit card and not how much money you have available!

• Interest rates. If you use your credit card and pay your balance in full each month, then you don’t have to pay interest. However, if you don’t pay your balance in full, or if you only pay your minimum payment, then you’ll most likely owe interest that continues to grow until your balance is fully paid off.

• Minimum payments. The minimum payment on your credit card is the smallest amount a lender will let you pay every month, and if you only pay this amount, they will start adding interest charges to your total amount due.

• Credit limit. Your credit limit is how much money you can spend on your credit card altogether.  Some may give you only a few hundreds, others a few thousands. Credit card companies decide what your limit should be based on your credit score, length of time you have had credit cards, your income, and so on.

As you move away from using credit cards, it’s important to start implementing a healthier habit towards spending and look at embracing the benefits of buying less.

Avoid window shopping by taking up more meaningful pastimes. Find a more meaningful state of mind, for example by volunteering at a care home or by pairing exercising with walking dogs at your local kennel. This is an opportunity to seek more meaningful relationships and less material ones. 

STEP 5 – MAKE A FINANCIAL GOAL VISION BOARD

Visualizing your goals helps focusing on them. You can do this by displaying your financial goals on a spread sheet. Yes, an excel doc may not be as attractive as a pretty mood board, but having something visual in front of you may help you make that goal a little bit more real.

You could, however, also make a more visually appealing one using a real size pinboard to display the things that debt freedom will allow you to do. This could be a holiday or being able to save up for a house deposit.

STEP 6 – STAY MOTIVATED

Tightening the belt to pay off a debt is never going to be fun, despite the knowledge that many benefits are waiting at the end of the road. I am a great believer that it’s important to keep a positive mindset and that it’s up to us to create a positive narrative our life. One way that may help you get through this time is to celebrate the small successes. Set yourself regular targets and rewards, for example, when you repay your first card of your first £1,000 of debt, think about rewarding yourself with some kind of treat… but do not go overboard!

Also, it’s important to try not to get stressed and compromise your health over your debt by reminding yourself that you are already actively working towards it. You are still entitled to retail some time to enjoy life by going out for a walk, or having a laugh with a friend. Just because you make it a point of having a miserable time your debt will not disappear. However, by spending time with your loved ones, you’ll be able to take your mind off, perhaps even share some worries with someone you trust which will help you to recharge your batteries and keep motivated.

STEP 7 – PLAN FOR A RAINY DAY

One of the most common reasons people end up in debt is because they don’t have an emergency fund. An emergency fund is something that everyone should have. We can’t predict the future. No one can tell us when the next emergency will happen, but being prepared is half the battle. Your car may break down, you may fall it, your hours may be cut back or you may lose your job (the recent Coronavirus pandemic did a great job at reminding us of the emergencies that could lurk just around the corner!). You need to be prepared because if an emergency does arise, you won’t be forced to rely on credit cards or borrowing money in order to solve your situation. Your emergency fund is there to cushion you if an emergency arises!

Typically, it is recommended that you save somewhere between three to six months of expenses in your emergency fund.  

STEP 8 – LEARN TO LIVE WITHIN YOUR MEANS

Drop expensive habits. You should always be spending less than you earn.

If you’re consistently coming up short each month, you may want to take a closer look at your habits. It may be that you have a little spending problem and learning to live within your means will need to be on top of your list.

However, money spent on food and entertainment can easily add up too, without you noticing. Reviewing how you spend money each month will certainly give indications that you can work with.

You don’t have to cut back on everything, but you may need to readjust on what and how you spend your money. For example, you can still dine out, perhaps not at the finest restaurants. You can still buy cup of coffees when out but you may want to consider heading to a local unbranded one where you may get more for your money. You may also want to consider helping your case where you can, for example by compromising on packed lunches instead of eating out during the week, in order to earn a dinner out in the weekend.

You may also want to reconsider your needs. For example, do you need a newer phone or another accessory? Try to view this not as a restriction or punishment, but as a way to build  healthier spending habits which will help you reach your goal sooner and live better.

Here some suggestions that may make a difference to your monthly expenditure:

–          Ask for lower interest rates on your credit cards — and negotiate other bills.

• Renegotiate for a lower monthly phone bill. You will be amazed how much mobile phone network providers are willing to compromise both in terms of money and deal in order to keep you on, if your contract is due for renewal.
• Save money on food by packing your lunches and shopping smart. Buy fresh raw ingredients instead of ready meals and consider cutting off meat which will certainly reduce your grocery bill as well as making you healthier.
• Swap an expensive hair saloon for a cheaper local one. Having my hair done makes me happy, but simply put, some hair saloons are crazy expensive!
• Consider whether you need cable, satellite TV, or any other media service provider.

These are just some ideas. Hopefully, by looking at your monthly outings you will be able to identify what works for you.

STEP 9 – BUY & SELL USED

Although buying second hand may not be everybody’s cup of tea (I personally find buying second hand clothes a no-no) a lot still has to be said in favour of second hand for other items, such as furniture. Explore!

If you have something that is worth some money, that you are not particularly attached to and that you don’t need, consider selling it. Let someone else enjoy it and give it a new lease of life.

STEP 10 – EARN EXTRA MONEY

If you have compromised on a lot of the above mentioned and you are still struggling to meet ends, consider changing your job for a better paid one or finding a way to make some extra money.

I am not so much in favour of getting a second or third job when you already have a full time one, as this could really have a serious impact on your health. However, maybe you have been sitting on a comfortable job for a long time and getting a new job with new challenges could actually do you good by showing you how many other things you are capable of and boosting your self-esteem. Perhaps you are a teacher and maybe you could consider some seasonal work, or maybe you could consider looking for an online job that you can do in your free time: from becoming a virtual assistant to offering your professional skills as a consultant. Check out TaskRabbit, Upwork.com and even your usual job seeking platform like Monster that more and more are adapting to today’s’ demands for flexible working from home.

STEP 11 – PAY WITH CASH, NOT PLASTIC!

If you haven’t done it in a long time, give it a go! It’s a surprisingly interesting experiment!

Paying with cash, rather than by card, makes you really think about the money that you are spending. Somehow, the actual act of handing over cash has a bigger impact on our spending perception.  It really forces you to think about where your money is going, how you are spending it and how frequently. It does an excellent quantifying visual job.

For me it’s like cake. I know cakes are packed with sugar, but when I eat a cake that I haven’t baked myself, I am somewhat immune to that knowledge. However, when I bake it and I see how much sugar goes into it, that knowledge really acts as a reminder to eat it sparingly.

STEP 12 – PAY INTO YOUR DEBT FUND EVERY MONTH

To make headway on paying your credit card balances, if you can, pay more than the minimum repayments each month. Credit card companies put the minimum repayments out there to keep you hooked. They are not your friends. They make money off you.  So, set up a standing order or direct debit and if you can add more without killing yourself over it, pay more into it every month. Even an extra 50 quid can make a difference.

Also prioritize repaying your most expensive debts first. Store cards tend to be much more expensive than mainstream credit cards, so get rid of those first. But even when prioritizing, continue to make at least the minimum payments on all your other credit cards to avoid extra charges.

Finally, carefully revaluate your savings contributions. Yes, you want an emergency fund, but if the interests on your savings are lower than the interests on your debts, then that’s false economy.

STEP 13 – MOVE YOUR DEBT TO A 0% BALANCE TRANSFER CREDIT CARD

Now, only do this is you are well organized and disciplined! Applying for a long 0% balance transfer credit card can be a good idea, as it can give you the opportunity to pay your debt, or part of your debt, without paying interest on it for an initial period, normally 6 to – even – 30 months. You normally pay a fee for the balance transfer to move debt across, but this is still cheaper than having debt charged at upwards of 16% per year!

I would strongly recommend that if you choose this option you must be disciplined and that every month you pay money into an account so that, when the deadline comes, you can pay it all off at once!

STEP 14 – PAY OFF BANLANCES WITH FUND MONEY

Maybe you recently received an inheritance, or a bonus, or you received a tax refund, or you won the lottery. Whatever type of “found money” it is, it could go a long way towards helping you become debt-free. So, if you recently received some sort of fund money, stop and think before you go on a wild shopping spree!

STEP 15 – CONSIDER A PERSONAL LOAN

If you are stretched to the limit with your belt tightened to the max and you’re still struggling to make minimum repayments and you’re worried about taking out another credit card, a personal loan can work out more expensive than a 0% interest credit card, but has the big advantage of giving you some leave and peace of mind while giving you a set end to work towards.

CONCLUSION

Living with the constant stress of a pending debt over your head and living paycheck-to-paycheck lifestyle is no fun. It is also extremely worrying to have no way of saving up for a rainy day. For as strong an invincible as we may feel right now, we are not immune to bad luck, emergencies and global market pandemic or catastrophes. 

No matter what type of debt you’re finding yourself in, it’s important to face the music, quantify it, understand it and act upon it.  It may not happen overnight and it will be hard work, but it’s well worth paying your debs off as it will enable you to move on and lead a better and more meaningful life concentrating on the things that matter to you.

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Research also tells us that there is a strong link between mental and physical health. People who suffer from heart disease, diabetes or obesity, are more at risk of developing depression as they condition brings limitations and discomfort in their lives. Likewise, people who suffer from depression or other conditions such as schizophrenia or bipolar disorder, may end up spending more time indoors and being inactive, hence becoming more at risk of developing physical diseases, such as cardiovascular disease, heart disease, diabetes and obesity.

But there’s more, recent studies have revealed that what we eat has also a direct influence on our mental health. Research shows that mental disorders are not exclusively limited to the brain. The immune system and gut microbiota, for example, can affect the health of our brain and our overall well-being proving that the connection between what we eat and our mental health is rather strong.

From the data we have today it’s quite apparent that the quality of our diet is linked to our risk for depression and dementia and this starts early on. What our mothers ate when pregnant, what we as children ate in the first few year of life and later on in life, can greatly influence our mental health and emotional regulation.

Studies found that the relation between the risk of depression and how depressed teenagers can become is linked to their diets, independently of things like family conflict and socio-economic status. In fact, just half of all mental disorders start before the age of 14, so this is why it’s very important we implement healthy food choices not just for ourselves but also for our children.

Of course, there are many other factors that contribute to mental disorders such as genetics, early life trauma, life stress, poverty and disadvantage. However, these are perhaps the ones that are more difficult to control and alter, whereas we can control our diet as well as how much exercise we do.

Defining mental health and mental disorders

First of all, to make sure we are all on the same page, let’s define mental health.

According to the World Health Organization (WHO), mental health is “a state of well-being in which every individual realizes his or her own potential, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively and fruitfully, and is able to make a contribution to her or his community.”

Ok, so what is a classified as a mental disorder?

The World Health Organization (WHO) define mental disorders as “comprising a broad range of problems, with different symptoms. However, they are generally characterized by some combination of abnormal thoughts, emotions, behaviour and relationships with others. Examples are schizophrenia, depression, intellectual disabilities and disorders due to drug abuse. Most of these disorders can be successfully treated.”

It is estimated that we all experience some form of mental illness at some point in life. The intensity of it can vary hugely, from a short period of stress to persistent forms of depression and anxiety. Some less acute forms of mental illness can sometimes be overcome with self-help but other forms require adequate attention and support. Sadly, often what prevents many from getting the right help is the stigma that is associated with mental illness.

“The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge”

Stephen Hawking

To demystify and help remove this stigma, I think it’s important to take a closer look to truly understand how rather common mental illness can be. Perhaps the most common mental health and brain disorder is depression. According to the World Health Organization (WHO), depression affects approximately 300 million people worldwide and is currently one of the leading causes of disability. Recurring symptoms include low mood, mood swings, loss of interest, irritability, feeling tired, changes in appetite and sleep and bodily complaints or fatigue without defined physical problems.

But there are many other brain disorders which include anxiety, substance-related or addictive disorders, bipolar affective disorder, schizophrenia, other psychoses, and neurodevelopmental and neurodegenerative disorders, such as autism and dementia.

There are many causes that can lead to mental illness and here are some of them:

• Genetic factors: the complexity of genetics is huge and it is still been studied today.
• Psychological factors: our personal resilience, self-esteem, optimism and self-confidence can act as moderators of mental states and this means they can help decrease the risk of developing mental illness and support trauma-related recovery.
• Environmental factors: these include factors such as parental mental health but it can also include exposure to neurotoxic substances such as mercury, lead or pesticides as well as drugs and alcohol abuse which are known to be detrimental to the human brain.
• Social factors: status, economic situation, education and access to care and support can hugely affect mental health. This means that areas of social disadvantage with low levels of education and unemployment, poverty and hostile household are the ones most at risk.

There is a lot of evidence showing that lifestyle factors have an impact in the development and progression of many negative states on the mental health. These factors include: alcohol and substance use, poor sleep, physical activity and… diet!

Although mental disorders are of a very complex nature, in this article we will concentrate on the how mental health can be improved though the quality of our diet.

How the quality of our diet influences our mental health

Evidence shows that many mental and brain states are linked to immune system and inflammation.

The gut regulates the immune system via a bi-directional communication between gut and brain. Most of the signals go to the brain but about 10% go to the gut. For example, when we are stressed, stress affects out gut and as the gut is under stress it affects our mental health.

Our immune system is also designed to get into action when there’s an injury or infection in order to fight and repair the body. However, modern Western-style diets (which are high in processed meats and foods with added sugar, salt and fat) have a pro-inflammatory impact on the body. They create inflammation which is essentially a low-grade chronic activation of the immune system. What happens then? Studies have shown that the molecules that are released are consistently linked to an increased risk for many diseases including cardiovascular disease, diabetes, cancers, common mental disorders, dementia and Alzheimer’s disease.

But when we look into it deeper, it gets even more interconnected. The microorganisms living in the gut are collectively known as the gut microbiota. In recent years, the gut microbiota has been considered as an important biological key in impacting human health and disease. Then there’s the gut microbiome which includes all of the microorganisms in the gut microbiota and their genetic make-up. The latest research links the gut microbiome to metabolism, immune functions and autoimmune diseases, as well as…hear hear… mental and brain health. Some studies have been able to show that, in Alzheimer’s disease, the gut microbiota is different. And the same factors that impact the gut microbiome impact someone’s risk of developing a neurodegenerative disease such as Alzheimer’s disease. From the data available we can see that the gut microbiota composition is affected by age, health state or medication use and that it is linked to different mental states, such as stress, depression, anxiety, and serious mental disorders, such as schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. We also know that the microbiota is dictated not only by what we eat but also by things like exercise, sleeping patterns, smoking and hygiene practices. Once again, this should be a viewed as a reminder of the importance of eating healthily alongside doing regular exercise.

Perhaps even more fascinatingly, 10/15 years ago, neuroscientists found that diet has a very direct effect on hippocampal volume and in its functionality. And what is the hippocampus responsible for? It’s a region of the brain that is associated primarily with memory and key to learning. In other words, the plasticity of the hippocampus and our ability to retain memory and continue to learn is also affected by the quality of our diet.

Interestingly, the Mediterranean and Nordic diets, which are high in plant-based food and fish, are consistently associated with a decrease in pro-inflammatory response which, in turns, suggest they may decrease the risks of mental illness and support cognitive functions. Also, diets that are high in fibre from whole grains, vegetables, fruit, legumes, seeds and nuts have also been shown to support immune functioning. The other common components of the Mediterranean diet are use of olive oil, moderate consumption of dairy, low consumption of red and processed meat and increased consumption of fish. What’s interesting about this is that many of these components are thoughts to prevent or improve inflammation and improve depressive symptoms.

Eating behaviours

In 2017, the Global Burden of Disease (GBD) carried out a truly insightful project and published a paper that analysed 15 selected dietary risk factors in adults aged 25 years or older across 195 countries from 1990 to 2017. The massive amount of data collected showed that, world-wide, we don’t consume enough whole grain, fruit, vegetables, legumes, nuts and seeds. It also found that we overconsume processed meat, sugar-sweetened beverages, and sodium (salt). How is this relevant? Well, rather shockingly, the study showed that in 2017 alone there have been 11 million diet-related deaths. The two main leading causes? High consumption of sodium, which caused 3 million deaths, low intake of whole grains which caused 3 million deaths, and low intake of fruit, which caused 2 million deaths.

You can see why, in a world where poor diet and poor mental health are the leading causes of mortality and diseases worldwide, there is growing interest around this subject.

So, what influences what we eat or don’t eat? Eating behaviours are not just driven by huger (I is hungry = I shall devour whatever I can find) and biological needs which are dependent on how active we are, but by a variety of many other reasons. These can be personal beliefs, knowledge and education but also dictated by social views such as culture, ethnicity and religion. But they can also be environmental, such as seasonal availability and finally economic, so dependent on cost and personal income.

One thing is clear though: in the western world, where food is not scarce nor does it need to be hunted but rather readily available, our eating attitudes are a complex combination of many of the reasons above listed and often move in periodical trend and mood waves.

Micro, Macro, Diets…pffffff…. Choose a whole diet!

Food is comprised of macro and micro nutrients. The reason I am often so dismissive about explaining in depth the difference between macro and micro nutrients and which vitamin is present in which food is because we should not think of isolated nutrients at all! Food should instead always be considered in its complexity because the various nutrients in foods interact with each other and they behave very differently when isolated. Focusing on a whole-diet approach and a whole-diet quality is a far better way to look at nutrition!

Diets are another big marketing nonsense! Every year there’s a new trend around food regimes, from the Atkins to the Paleo diet, from the lemon detox to the cabbage soup and the baby food diet just to mention a few. Poor information is simply damaging our health!

Fad diets promise dramatic weight loss (sometimes even skin tone improvements), but they are also often unrealistic and unsustainable as they are aimed at short-term pros vs long-term cons and based on very limited or no scientific evidence at all which can be potentially dangerous for some. A famous example is the Cigarette Diet, which advertised tobacco smoking to manage weight in the 1920s. If you think this is silly, don’t think for even an instant that today is a different story: you only need to look at the cabbage soup diet! Many highly restrictive diets that involve exclusion of food groups are often lacking evidence on long-term health impact and cannot be recommended as safe and sustainable.

The solution to a healthy and nutritional diet is simple: eat a varied diet rich in fresh fruits and vegetables. This is why the “whole diet” approach is highly recommended with no more focusing on a single nutrient.

Yes, okay…some nutrients have been known to be particularly good in aiding specific conditions or needs, for example, omega-3 fatty acid or folate, have been known to have an impact on mood. But, it’s important to understand that nutrients need to interact with other nutrients to be fully absorbed and become beneficial to our body and this is why nutrients that are isolated, for example when they are taken as pills or added fortified foods, sometimes can be poorly absorbed by our body. Not only this but, specific nutrients can even be harmful when consumed in excess.

Want a simple straight forward tip about food?

• Eat plenty plant-based foods such as vegetables, fruit, wholegrains, nuts and seeds.
• Moderate/limit/avoid intake of proteins such as meat, seafood and dairy as well as, and especially, highly processed foods.

Dietary Guidelines

The first publication of the Dietary Guidelines for Americans was released in 1980. This did not go unnoticed by the rest of the world and as the various Departments of Health around the globe, some clever people, noticed the alarming food habits, they too slowly started to publish their dietary guidelines. The United Kingdom, for example, published its first set of dietary guidelines in 1994, and they have been regularly updated since then.

Food-based dietary guidelines are country-specific guidelines that take into account socio and environmental aspects and are intended as helpful evidence-based recommendations on foods to promote overall health and prevent chronic diseases. What they all resonate is the recommendation to consume a wide variety of unprocessed fruit, vegetables, legumes, nuts and whole grains while limiting sugar, fat and salt consumption. No miracle nutrient!

The World Health Organization (WHO) also outlines universal dietary recommendations that are based on fundamental principles of a healthy diet for adults. Want to hear it again? Consume a large variety of unprocessed fruit, vegetables, legumes, nuts and whole grains while limiting sugar, fat and salt consumption. And again, no miracle nutrient!

Reports indicate that following dietary guidelines and recommendations is associated with better physical and mental health across different countries and cultures. Examples are a decrease of Alzheimer’s in Korean elderly and a decrease of depressive symptoms and the weight status in Australians.

Nutrition Science

A personalised nutritional plan by a nutrition and dietetic professional is possibly the best way the get the most out of nutrition. This is because dietary recommendations tailored to the individual can take into account specific health needs but also preferences and socio-economic environment. Generally speaking, we can safely stick to dietary guidelines and eat plenty fresh fruits and vegetables, but when it comes to particular conditions there is definitely plenty benefits from getting the help of a professional.

Evidence also shows that dietary interventions developed and implemented by dietetic professionals do bring improvements in mental health.

Here’s a big word: Nutraceuticals

Nutraceutical is another term for functional food. A nutraceutical product is essentially a food or fortified food product with functional capacity to prevent or treat disorders. Examples of nutraceuticals are natural foods, including antioxidants, dietary supplements, fortified cereal and dairy products, minerals and herbals to give some examples.

Current research shows that some nutraceutical and dietary supplements could help manage mental health. These nutraceuticals include:

• Omega-3 fatty acids (found in foods such as fatty fish and other seafood, nuts and seeds, oils and animal foods).
• S-adenosylmethionin (SAMe), a chemical compound that is naturally occurring in the body.
• Vitamin D.
• St. John’s wort (a flowering plant used for a treatment of a mild depression. This is useful in mild depression but cannot be taken with other anti-depressant medications or some supplements due to interactions.)

Now, the thing to remember about nutraceuticals is that they are not tested and regulated to the same level as pharmaceutical drugs. Got that? Not regulated and this is also why, although nutraceuticals may provide a beneficial addition in the treatment of some mental health disorders, they should not be viewed as substitutes in place of a good quality diet.

The SMILES trial

The SMILES (Supporting the Modification of Lifestyle in Lowered Emotional States) trial was the first study in the world to demonstrate that making dietary changes can be effective in improving mental health in individuals with depression. To make sure participants at the time of recruitment fit the “clinically diagnosed depressed profile”, they were selected according to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. All participants were classified as having moderate to severe major depressive disorder and poor dietary intake.

The study commenced in 2012 and recruitment was completed in 2015.

67 participants were chosen for the trial and randomly allocated into two different groups:

• Dietary support group These 33 participants received personalised dietary recommendations based on the modified Mediterranean diet – the ModiMedDiet – during regular consultations with a trained dietitian.
• Social support group These 34 participants received social support that included regular meetings with trained personnel to discuss topics of interest, such as sport or music as well as playing games together.

After 12 weeks of intervention, the dietary support group showed significant improvements in mental health compared to the social support group with a 32% rate of participants achieving full remission, meaning they were no longer considered depressed!

The main focus of this trial was purely on mental health and what the study showed was that higher intakes of fruit, vegetables, whole grains and fish along with a lower intake of highly processed and sugary foods were consistently associated with better mental health.

ModiMedDiet: the modified Mediterranean diet

The SMILES trial used the ModiMed diet, based on the traditional Mediterranean diet.

The traditional Mediterranean diet is one of the most researched dietary styles. This is because it consistently demonstrates numerous health benefits including an association with a reduced risk of inflammation and depression.

What’s I personally find very interesting is that the ModiMedDiet, essentially a modified Mediterranean diet, is focused on aiding a positive change and improving diet quality by including an abundance of accessible, appealing and nutritious recommendations and meal ideas. In other words: easy, delicious and in abundance. The dietary recommendations also included several tips to help decision making around food such as:

1. Select fruits, vegetables and nuts as a snack. Include 30g (1.5 tablespoons) of unsalted nuts daily.
2. Include vegetables with every meal. Eat leafy greens and tomatoes every day.
3. Reserve sweets for special occasions only.
4. Choose water as the best drink.

ModiMedDiet also suggested meal ideas using simple food combinations from three main food groups. For example: eggs (protein) on wholegrain toast (cereal and starchy vegetables) with capsicum, spinach and mushrooms (vegetables).

The idea behind the ModiMedDiet model is to promote healthy relationship with food, with a focus on the inclusion of a wide variety of nutritious, easy and tasty meals and snacks that would improve diet quality and facilitate long-term behaviour change. It did not have weight-change focus and participants were expected to eat according to their appetite.

The cost of a healthy diet

It’s a common misconception that healthy diets are more expensive. This perceived high cost is one of the most common barriers to healthy eating.

Interestingly, a detailed cost analysis of 20 participants before and after the SMILES trial, showed that the healthy diet actually cost less than the low-quality diet.

There are several factors in its favour. Firstly, meat is more expensive than vegetables and ready meals are more expensive than buying raw ingredients. Less meat and ready meals = cheaper shopping bill. Favouring fresh fruits and vegetables encourages preparing meals at home, which are also cheaper than eating out or ordering takeaways.

However, to fully succeed, motivation and a willingness to change behaviours needs to be fully welcomed and embraced in order to maintain it in the long term. One more fascinating fact that seems to be a real winner when looking at changing our eating habits, is that maintain a positive mindset is key.

Think positive!

“When people are in a positive frame of mind are more likely to collaborate & problem-solve (instead of fight & resist).“

Chris Voss – ‘Never split the difference‘

Our thoughts influence the way we experience life and this is why optimism and positive-thinking are key factors to successful outcome when it comes to dietary changes. A positive mindset gives us the ability to adjust, focus, solve problems, and contributing to better mental health and physical well-being. Interestingly, previous research has shown that, when talking about long-term dietary habits, pessimism decreases an individual’s potential for improving.

“The hardest part about change is not making the same choices you made the day before.“

Dr. Joe Dispenza

When making changes, it’s important to have realistic expectations to avoid setting ourselves up for failure. Especially when talking about changing habits, it can be extremely challenging as familiar habits are difficult to get rid of. This is particularly hard for people who suffer from depression, stress or anxiety. In these cases, an empathetic and supportive environment is very important.

Changing eating habits requires creating dietary strategies, setting goals based on individual needs and abilities, and exercising a continuous willingness to carry on. It may also help to seek social support and interaction which can help reducing and managing stress and negativity.  

Top tips around food

To ensure long-term sustainable changes it’s paramount to implement simple, achievable changes. Here’s some tips:

• Forget about macro, micro, diets, what vitamin is in what vegetable etc. Just set yourself to eat plenty fresh fruit and vegetables.
• Limit the intake of meat, dairy and processed foods.
• Snack can be real monkeyshines!!! Make sure you have healthy snacks that require minimal preparation and cooking. For example, bite size celery and carrots, pre-cut and pre-washed salad and delicious mini tortillas to wrap vegetables with.
• Ensure you always have some extra non-perishable items, such as caned or dried beans and legumes or small bag of rice. They can be real lifesavers.
• Favour home cooking over eating out. Google recipes and have fun with your ingredients. I am not a fan of following recipes but I often google images of two to three of the ingredients I have available in the house. You’ll be amazed how much inspiration you can get just by looking at some pictures!
• Do not shop when you are hungry and stick to the shopping list you made. Avoid temptation islands/shelves and buy what’s in season to keep the cost down and your palate amused.
• When eating out or ordering takeaways, favour healthier options. For example, consider sushi or falafels and salad wraps over a mixed meat kebab.
• Do treat yourself sometimes. Perhaps a Friday or Saturday night takeaway? And when you do, enjoy it!
• Be positive and celebrate improvements.
• It’s ok to have set backs, but don’t give up just because you slipped and you are now ready to paint it all black.

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According to Meik Wiking, the CEO of the Happiness Research Institute in Copenhagen, we are the architects of our own memories. It is therefore important to ensure that we deposit good memories in our memory bank so that, in the future, we are more likely to make withdrawals of happiness.

As I recently went through a difficult and uncertain time, I have taken special care to become the curator of my deposits. Evening that could otherwise have felt empty, were filled with cozy blankets, candles, mouth-watering healthy meals, catching up with friends and good reads. My multisensory experiences, as suggested by Wiking, also helped me make these memories last longer in my memory bank. Days that had the potential of becoming meaningless and filled with dread for the future where filled with things purposely placed around my day to give myself a sense of purpose. I became the architect of my household of memories to ensure that, when looking back, I would withdraw snippets of happiness.

Doing so helped me, not only to get through this difficult time, but also to maintain well balanced and positive state of mind. With every hour and every day that passed, I also added to the evidence showing that I had it in me to go through with it and come the other side stronger.

Life events and memories

Of course, it is not always possible to turn all life events into positive memories but, as the Cognitive Behavioural approach suggests, not all negative life events need to lead to negative results.

What seems to be more important is instead the way in which the person reacts to the situation (i.e. how they interpret and think about it, and how they behave as a result). This step, however, is shaped by our very own core beliefs. Negative early experiences like poor parenting, bullying at school or at home, rejection from peers or family to name a few, all contribute greatly to the development of unhealthy beliefs. These, in turn, impede us from formulating healthy judgments, solving problems, adjust to negative circumstances and can lead to relationship and social problems.

False memories

The problem with many memories, though, is that they can also trick us. In the book “The art of making memories”, Wiking mentions a 2008 study carried out by Elizabeth Loftus, called “Asparagus a Love Story – Healthy Eating Could be Just a False Memory Away”. Over the course of this study, Loftus and her team, had planted the false memory that some of the participants loved to eat asparagus when they were children. Data taken from the participants that now believed they loved asparagus as kids, demonstrated that these new (and false) memories had consequences such as an increased general liking of asparagus, greater desire to eat asparagus when dining out and even willingness to pay more in the grocery shop.

False memories can become very ingrained and alter the way we view things.

Memories and depression

The way we process memories is particularly interesting when we look at depression. Researchers from Brigham Young University believe that the reason why depression affects memory is because it affects the ability to differentiate things that are similar, a process called ‘pattern separation’. The more depressed a person feels, the more difficult it becomes to distinguish between similar experiences, resulting in less memories being recorded. A study on depression and memory by the University of Texas found that depression reduces memory capacity by as much as 12%. This is also explained by the fact that people who are depressed have difficulty concentrating, which can prevent them from focusing and remembering things.

The difficulty with depression is that it also has a tendency to get stuck on ‘negative thought-loops’ creating what some experts call the ‘interference phenomenon’.

Depressed people become fixated on these negative thoughts to the extent that they interfere with their ability to remember other facts or information, including the happy ones. In other words, we could think of it as a virus that, once entering our memory bank, infects the stock.

Conclusion

Therefore, identifying and understanding how negative and unhelpful core beliefs came about, as well as challenging, updating and changing them as we grow older, is the only way to achieve healthy and positive core beliefs that in turn will help us to adjust to negative circumstances. Add that to making a conscientious effort to deposit happy memories in our memory bank and you already have a good recipe for success!

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