The beginning of a new year often brings people to make new resolutions. Its’ a new beginning, a new page, so it’s only natural. But often this can bring anxiety and stress as we try to figure out what it is that we want as well as pressure to succeed and disappointment for master plans that were actually bigger than we anticipated.
I believe that getting to the root of our wishes, hopes and beliefs is the healthiest of approaches.
LOOKING FOR A LIFE CHANGING UPGRADE?
If you are looking for a big upgrade in your life, be it a career change or a new life project, it’s worthwhile doing some very honest self-questioning. However, be prepared, this is not going to be easy because it requires asking yourself simple questions that are uncomfortable to answer that will bring you face to face with your very own individual core beliefs.
Who do you want to be?
Where in your life do you want to be?
Why do you really want this (whatever “this” is for you) to happen?
What makes you truly happy?
What gives you purpose?
Get to the root and dig deep with your questions into your core beliefs. Make sure that what you really want is based on your true values and your true needs, and not on someone else’s needs, or to be liked and display power, or to show off how well you are doing. The ultimate goal for your “wanting” should be genuine and simple happiness and purpose.
Take time to really consider what is really bugging you.
“Chances are the answer will involve a failure of some sort.”
(The subtle art of not giving a fuck, Mark Manson)
At which point you will need to ask yourself more uncomfortable questions!
“Why do I consider this to be success/failure? How am I choosing to measure myself? By what standard am I judging myself and everyone around me?”
(Change your Paradigm, change you life, Bob Proctor)
It is important to ask yourself if you are looking at it the wrong way and if it is time to turn the way you are looking at it.
MAKE A CHANGE
“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.”
(Mary Engelbreit)
Remember that changing something involves experimenting which implies a certain amount of successes but also some failures. Get familiar with failures: they are not setbacks, they are part of life as they promote growth which can open doors to new opportunities you may have not even thought possible!
FEAR OF FAILURE
Once you have faced and questioned your core beliefs and gone thru with some in depth soul searching, it’s time to take the reins of your life.
Visualize what you want by keeping your eyes firmly on your goal as well as on the reasons behind it, and think positively!
“All success if 5% strategy and 95 % mindset.”
(Change your Paradigm, change you life, Bob Proctor)
Because you are moving in a situation you have never been before you are going to feel uncomfortable and you are likely to doubt yourself and your abilities but, if you have done the homework well, you will have ensured that this is what you truly want and what you need. So, trust yourself.
Remember that fear of failure, fear of success, procrastination, and the very worst: self-sabotage and giving in to the impostor syndrome are your worst enemies.
Everybody has potential, but we all need to learn how to develop that potential. It takes time, it involves success as much as failures, but we only really get better at something when we really want it so, if you have done your homework, this is good news!
Make a choice, visualize, keep at it.
Really commit to it. Bet on yourself.
“If you’re really going to live up to your potential, you’ve got to step out and really bet on you.”
(Change your Paradigm, change you life, Bob Proctor)
Keep calm and confident. You’ve got this!
LEARN TO LET GO
You have already learnt about the importance of letting go of unfounded core beliefs that were putting you on the wrong path with values and beliefs that were not aligned with you.
You have also learnt about the importance of letting go of the fear of failure.
Now it’s time to let go of anyone who is not on your same frequency.
“Stop showing up for people who have no interest in your presence. I know your instinct is to do everything to earn the appreciation of those around you, but it’s a boost that steals your time, energy, mental and physical health. Let go the people who are not prepared to love you. Stop having hard conversations with people who don’t want change. If you are excluded, insulted, forgotten or ignored by the people you give your time to, you don’t do yourself a favour by continuing to offer your energy and your life. The truth is that you are not for everyone and not everyone is for you.”
(Anthony Hopkins)
Do not deprive yourself of the possibility of connecting with someone else who is more aligned with you, because you are wasting all your time and energies trying to make yourself liked by someone who is unable or unwilling to value and appreciate you. You are not someone punch bag. You are not someone’s doormat. You are not someone’s background wallpaper. You are not responsible for someone else’s happiness and for their emotional healing.
A friend of mine once introduced me to one of her theories: it was enlightening! She told me that there’s two kind of people in the world: “some people are radiators and some people are hoovers!” she said. Some, the radiators, have a beautiful energy fuelled by positivity and a can-do attitude. Some, the hoovers, will identify the radiators and proceed to just drain them never giving anything back and always holding them back.
Seek to mix with the community that aligns with you. Seek people who are on your frequency and that are going in the direction you are heading. Rub shoulders with the ones who have been there, who have made it, who know how. Learn from them. Flourish, develop, grow!
Make it your clarity of intention to know that you deserve true friendship, valuable commitments as well as honest and truthful love. Don’t waste your time with people who are not worth it, who will not understand you and will not be able to support or even simply understand your journey.
“Respect yourself enough to walk away from anything that no longer serves you, helps you to grow, or makes you happy.”
(Change your Paradigm, change you life, Bob Proctor)
CONCLUSION
To me New Year resolutions are less about the making of a “tick list” and more about a recalibration.
Do a bit of honest soul searching and challenge your core beliefs to ensure that what you really want is in harmony with what you need.
Visualize it, commit to it, then launch! And on your journey learn to let go of fear of failure and whoever holds you down.
